Stop Having Goals
"Whatever the mind can conceive, and believe, the mind can achieve." Napoleon Hill
It is completely possible to fulfill your goals. The first essential step is simple you need to know what you want. If you don't know what you want, if you don't have clear written goals Do That First.
For the sake of this article, I'm going to assume that you have some goals you haven't achieved. Maybe you've wished you were healthier, had more money, weighed less, had more harmony in your relationship, were in a relationship.
I'm also going to assume you know some of the things you need to do to fulfill these goals. And I'll assume that you've intended to fulfill them, but you didn't have "enough willpower,5825 Ugg Classic Short Chestnut Boots." In fact, willpower is not enough. Willpower is a function of your conscious mind, and your conscious mind only determines what you do about 5% of the time. The rest of the time you're running on autopilot, otherwise known as your subconscious mind. So when you rely on willpower, you typically do get some results but it's simply not enough.
If it's not about willpower, then what is the key to achieving?
1) Create Support Structures
The structures in your life: what you do with your time,The other day a friend asked me how I help people. I told her, the expectations of the people around you,instead of throwing one's toys, your agreements with others, what you have around you; all of these are structures that promote or interfere with different behaviors. For example, if you want to exercise more, and currently spend a lot of time in front of the TV, put the TV in a closet, and put exercise equipment (your walking or running shoes, as an example) in a readily accessibly spot. Schedule time for exercise. Get an exercise buddy, and exercise with them. Changing any one of these structures will greatly increase the likelihood that you will increase your exercise. Changing all three can ensure you do.
2) Get Into Action
Too often we simply don't make things happen with our goals in a timely fashion, and as a result, we get used to the feeling of the unfulfilled goals,exactly what to expect and what not to expect.. Any goal that you've had for 6 months or more, and still have, you have likely gone numb about. When you think about it, if you still do, your motivation is likely very minimal. You've developed a level of toleration for this unfulfilled goal that is itself keeping you stuck.
To break free of the weight of tolerating this goal, the key is to get into action. Ask yourself, "What is one thing I could do to move toward achieving this goal?" The scope of the action is irrelevant. Most important is that you ACT. Physics shows that an object at rest has something called inertia, which is the scientific name for the feeling of stuckness and resistance to even getting started. Science also tells us that with movement comes momentuman object in motion is easier to keep moving, and in fact even has a tendency to keep moving.
What could you do to get things moving? Perhaps you could make a list of people to call for help on your project. Or support your diet by rounding up and giving away all the sweets in the house. Or start your exercise program by borrowing an exercise DVD from a friend. When I wanted to kick start my diet and exercise commitment, I got a DVD from the library and committed to working out with it 5 or more times each week. It worked this practice helped me get into a new habit of exercising regularly.
3) Get Accountable
Perhaps you've noticed that the easiest person to break commitments with is yourself. In fact, for the majority of people, there really is not such thing as a promise made to themselves. It just doesn't happen. So, if you know this about yourself, create outside accountability.
Sometimes it's enough to just let another person know your commitment, and have a time to check back in with them to acknowledge that you have done so. However, if there is some inertia with a goal, it can be helpful to promise that you'll do something painful if you don't take your action. For example, you could agree to give money (to them, or a charity) if you don't follow through on your commitment.
So, how can you move from tolerating your unmet goals, to achieving them? The first step is to make the choice to apply what you've learned here. Start by changing the structures around you to support you in achieving your goal. Identify and take action to get in momentum toward fulfilling the goal, and set up some accountability to help ensure your success.
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