Is Plastic Making You Happier?
If you re like most people, you probably own at least one.
And like most people, you ve maybe never thought what it s really costing you
At a recent conference held by the Fabian Society at London s Imperial college, one of the issues discussed was happiness, and, more specifically, why it seems to elude so many of us,Then it has to start all over again tomorrow.
One of the conclusions reached was that one of the greatest causes of unhappiness in the last 50 years has been people s constant desire to raise their level of material wealth (especially in relation to others who have more).
As one speaker noted, We re like children on a rainy Sunday afternoon, impossible to please. We have everything and nothing.
You may disagree, but I can t think of a worse modern symbol of this constant craving than the credit card.
Yes, I know, they might seem a godsend when payday isn t for another week and a half. Having free money can be a fantastic thing...if you manage to pay it back on time that is...
If you re like a great many, though, and only managing to make that minimum monthly repayment,5825 Ugg Classic Short Chestnut Boots, here are 4 things to think about the next time you reach for that piece of plastic
1 It s very expensive!
2% interest a month may sound like peanuts but that equates to 24% per year. Let s imagine, like me, you lived in the UK, and had an average balance of £8000 on your card... that would mean you were paying £160 a month interest. On the national average salary, that s almost a week s work!
2 It s not your money
You re actually paying someone else for the privilege of making you poorer! That hard-earned cash should be in your pocket, not some lender s. How can you remain solvent if you re continually spending money you don t have?
3 Money burns a hole in your pocket
If you re like me, I can bet you ve met or know loads of people who always seem to have too much month left at the end of the money. Yet, I ll bet you if they earned double or even treble their income, they would still find some way to squander it. It seems to be in our nature somehow.
We ve all seen those quiz shows where the contestants win big money. What s the first question they re asked? Yep, that s right, How are you going to spend it? I don t recall many replying they would wisely invest it for their retirement.
4 You spend what you don t have
Credit cards give you the illusion of being wealthy. Let s face it, if you were handing over a 1000 dollars instead of that little piece of plastic, you might just stop and have a quick rethink.
It used to be the case that Gold cards (those ones with the massive spending limits) were the preserve of the wealthy, but the banks weren t too long in realizing that if they gave these out to everyone, they would simply go ahead and spend as if they were wealthy,Feel yourself pick up your Astral body in the same manner you would your physical body. We seem to prefer illusion to reality, somehow.
Way back in the sixties, a French philosopher called Jean-Paul Sartre came up with a concept he called the Practico Inert.
Fancy terminology aside, he was trying to explain in a nutshell how humans almost always (and without realizing it) become prisoners of their own creations,in a corresponding fashion.
He used the example of Chinese peasants who needed wood in order to provide fuel and building materials for themselves. The long-term effect, though, was that the continual loss of trees needed for wood gradually exposed their land to flooding and drought.
Likewise, in our modern world, the credit card creates a short-term illusion of freedom and control, but in reality, only makes you poorer and increases your dependency on others.
So next time you re tempted to reach for that piece of plastic, stop for a second and have a think about it s true worth to you.
Is it really making you any happier, or like so many others, could it be seriously damaging your wealth?
Friday, November 30, 2012
Wednesday, November 28, 2012
you can read my article on goal setting at
The Power of a Positive Attitude
You wake up in the morning sleepy and fatigued; the day has to start but you do not want it to. You stumble around,5825 Ugg Classic Short Chestnut Boots; stub your toe on the dresser and step on the dog. What do you do, get mad and waste the day with anger or get excited because you woke up this morning and the day is going to be awesome.
Unfortunately, most of us fill our day with negativity from the moment we get out of bed. Then we wonder why our day is not the best it can be. Attitude affects every aspect of your life- even your on-line business- so why not have a great attitude. The good news is you control your attitude, not me not circumstances, and you do. Every time you get excited about your day, you made the choice to be excited. When you walk through your day with negativity it was a choice you made.
Make The Right Choice
Making the choice to stay positive is an easy task but it takes commitment and will not happen over night. It is learning to find the positive in every situation and retraining your sub conscious mind to think in the positive instead of the negative. Unfortunately, we are bread to think negatively from the time we can walk but we can retrain ourselves to be the positive motivator that takes charge and wins in life.
Read on to learn the techniques I use to maintain a positive attitude.
Make A Goal To Change
People often ask me why I am so happy all the time and I tell them because I made a goal to control my attitude. Setting a goal to make a commitment to change your attitude is the foundation that must be laid,then you could try the HR of the Employee Assistance Program representative.. If you need help on how to set a goal, you can read my article on goal setting at:
Affirmations
Affirmations are the key to maintaining a positive attitude. An affirmation is a positive statement said in the present tense with conviction. For example, I am a money magnet, money flows to me easily and effortlessly or I am an extremely positive person at all times. I made a list of seven affirmations that I say twice a day every day and I recommend you do the same,9.When listening to a person you make eye contact 70% of the time.. I say my affirmations every morning in the shower and at night before I go to bed and when ever i fill negative about something, this way they will be imbedded in my sub-consciousness through out the day.
Fight A Negitive With A Positive
Every time you find yourself thinking negatively, turn it in to a positive thought and repeat it ten times. It takes 10 positive thoughts to cancel out one negative thought. Every thing can be put into a positive; for example, you are stuck in rush hour traffic and you want to get home to see your family,attitude. This is an easy situation to get negative about but instead make it a positive by saying this is awesome, I now have time to clear my head from work so when I get home I can give my family my full attention. Now when you get home you are in a great mood and ready to play with the kids instead of being grumpy.
Follow through on what you just read and you will be surprised at how much better life and business will be. This will be a tough road but is any thing worth achieving easy!
Copyright Shannon Herod
You wake up in the morning sleepy and fatigued; the day has to start but you do not want it to. You stumble around,5825 Ugg Classic Short Chestnut Boots; stub your toe on the dresser and step on the dog. What do you do, get mad and waste the day with anger or get excited because you woke up this morning and the day is going to be awesome.
Unfortunately, most of us fill our day with negativity from the moment we get out of bed. Then we wonder why our day is not the best it can be. Attitude affects every aspect of your life- even your on-line business- so why not have a great attitude. The good news is you control your attitude, not me not circumstances, and you do. Every time you get excited about your day, you made the choice to be excited. When you walk through your day with negativity it was a choice you made.
Make The Right Choice
Making the choice to stay positive is an easy task but it takes commitment and will not happen over night. It is learning to find the positive in every situation and retraining your sub conscious mind to think in the positive instead of the negative. Unfortunately, we are bread to think negatively from the time we can walk but we can retrain ourselves to be the positive motivator that takes charge and wins in life.
Read on to learn the techniques I use to maintain a positive attitude.
Make A Goal To Change
People often ask me why I am so happy all the time and I tell them because I made a goal to control my attitude. Setting a goal to make a commitment to change your attitude is the foundation that must be laid,then you could try the HR of the Employee Assistance Program representative.. If you need help on how to set a goal, you can read my article on goal setting at:
Affirmations
Affirmations are the key to maintaining a positive attitude. An affirmation is a positive statement said in the present tense with conviction. For example, I am a money magnet, money flows to me easily and effortlessly or I am an extremely positive person at all times. I made a list of seven affirmations that I say twice a day every day and I recommend you do the same,9.When listening to a person you make eye contact 70% of the time.. I say my affirmations every morning in the shower and at night before I go to bed and when ever i fill negative about something, this way they will be imbedded in my sub-consciousness through out the day.
Fight A Negitive With A Positive
Every time you find yourself thinking negatively, turn it in to a positive thought and repeat it ten times. It takes 10 positive thoughts to cancel out one negative thought. Every thing can be put into a positive; for example, you are stuck in rush hour traffic and you want to get home to see your family,attitude. This is an easy situation to get negative about but instead make it a positive by saying this is awesome, I now have time to clear my head from work so when I get home I can give my family my full attention. Now when you get home you are in a great mood and ready to play with the kids instead of being grumpy.
Follow through on what you just read and you will be surprised at how much better life and business will be. This will be a tough road but is any thing worth achieving easy!
Copyright Shannon Herod
Tuesday, November 27, 2012
to remain in a loving state and to share that love with those around her.
Life, The Greatest Ride of All
Life is the greatest roller coaster ride we will ever take. The ups and downs,5825 Ugg Classic Short Chestnut Boots, the unexpected changes,Addressing 'Normal' Business Functions, the twists and turns, are all a part of living. The roller coaster ride of life can be miserable and uncomfortable or exciting and rewarding. Our states of mind and body are key factors in how we handle these changes. The problems of life do not go away magically. We have to consciously work on making our lives more positive and joyful.
Once in an ENCHANTED SELF workshop, one woman related a story about her Thanksgiving dinner,what and where would you most want to be. She had recently suffered a painful and unexpected breakup with a boyfriend. Although she was experiencing grief, she had a strong inner desire to reclaim her sense of self and move forward with her life.
It was interesting to hear her speak about the family meal. As she looked around at her extended family seated at the table, she became filled with love and felt the love reflected back towards her. It was then that she made a conscious choice to stay focused in the moment, to remain in a loving state and to share that love with those around her.
There were some inner struggles during the course of the evening because Thanksgiving held poignant memories for her involving her ex-boyfriend. When these memories surfaced, she deliberately chose to put them aside. After the family gathering, she confidently exclaimed, "I won!"
Her conscious decision to remain in a positive state of being, coupled with the feelings of love that she felt toward everyone, were the most critical factors in staying focused in the moment. She had triumphed because she did not succumb to feelings of depression and pity. Like Dorothy in The Wizard of Oz when she clicked her heels and said, "there's no place like home," she realized that the things she was searching for -- strength, love and happiness--could be found in her "own backyard."
The support and love that comes from our family and friends, as well as the inner strength we develop when we get to know and accept ourselves, was right there.
We will always tussle with dark thoughts and the negative sides of our personalities. Sometimes there will be unpleasant events in our lives, but we can choose not to let these things invade our sense of self-dignity and worth. When we make conscious choices about how we will respond to difficult situations, we feel empowered. For that moment we are in charge of our destiny. Nobody ever said that achieving positive states of mind and body was easy, but then again nobody ever said it was hard. It's a matter of focusing on the positive, and self-education.
Positive memory retrieval is the tool that enhances our ENCHANTED SELF journey. Reaching a positive state of inner and outer harmony is the essence of THE ENCHANTED SELF. One way of reaching this state is to give love and support to our selves and to others. Let's make this year a year of growth, peace, harmony and shared optimism.
Exercise: Heightening Our Experience of Pleasure
This exercise is designed not only to help you remember and validate positive aspects of your past, but to emphasize the need to stay more attentive to positive happenings in the present that may precipitate pleasure.
Were there moments in your childhood when you felt particularly happy? These moments can be from any age -- from your earliest memories through young adulthood. When you find a golden memory, savor it. See yourself at that age and experiment with letting different senses reconnect to that happy time,Most vegetables are important sources of minerals.
What was going on at that moment?
What were you feeling inside?
How did your body feel?
Were there any aromas?
How did things look around you?
How were you acting?
What was the weather like?
What was the scenery like?
Were you with anyone?
What was it like to be with that person?
Take time to really enjoy this happy memory. Now scan your memory bank and the most recent past to see if you can think of one thing that you enjoyed doing in the last week. Give yourself permission to relive through your memory that pleasant time. Again, use all of your senses to reconnect you with that wonderful experience.
Life is the greatest roller coaster ride we will ever take. The ups and downs,5825 Ugg Classic Short Chestnut Boots, the unexpected changes,Addressing 'Normal' Business Functions, the twists and turns, are all a part of living. The roller coaster ride of life can be miserable and uncomfortable or exciting and rewarding. Our states of mind and body are key factors in how we handle these changes. The problems of life do not go away magically. We have to consciously work on making our lives more positive and joyful.
Once in an ENCHANTED SELF workshop, one woman related a story about her Thanksgiving dinner,what and where would you most want to be. She had recently suffered a painful and unexpected breakup with a boyfriend. Although she was experiencing grief, she had a strong inner desire to reclaim her sense of self and move forward with her life.
It was interesting to hear her speak about the family meal. As she looked around at her extended family seated at the table, she became filled with love and felt the love reflected back towards her. It was then that she made a conscious choice to stay focused in the moment, to remain in a loving state and to share that love with those around her.
There were some inner struggles during the course of the evening because Thanksgiving held poignant memories for her involving her ex-boyfriend. When these memories surfaced, she deliberately chose to put them aside. After the family gathering, she confidently exclaimed, "I won!"
Her conscious decision to remain in a positive state of being, coupled with the feelings of love that she felt toward everyone, were the most critical factors in staying focused in the moment. She had triumphed because she did not succumb to feelings of depression and pity. Like Dorothy in The Wizard of Oz when she clicked her heels and said, "there's no place like home," she realized that the things she was searching for -- strength, love and happiness--could be found in her "own backyard."
The support and love that comes from our family and friends, as well as the inner strength we develop when we get to know and accept ourselves, was right there.
We will always tussle with dark thoughts and the negative sides of our personalities. Sometimes there will be unpleasant events in our lives, but we can choose not to let these things invade our sense of self-dignity and worth. When we make conscious choices about how we will respond to difficult situations, we feel empowered. For that moment we are in charge of our destiny. Nobody ever said that achieving positive states of mind and body was easy, but then again nobody ever said it was hard. It's a matter of focusing on the positive, and self-education.
Positive memory retrieval is the tool that enhances our ENCHANTED SELF journey. Reaching a positive state of inner and outer harmony is the essence of THE ENCHANTED SELF. One way of reaching this state is to give love and support to our selves and to others. Let's make this year a year of growth, peace, harmony and shared optimism.
Exercise: Heightening Our Experience of Pleasure
This exercise is designed not only to help you remember and validate positive aspects of your past, but to emphasize the need to stay more attentive to positive happenings in the present that may precipitate pleasure.
Were there moments in your childhood when you felt particularly happy? These moments can be from any age -- from your earliest memories through young adulthood. When you find a golden memory, savor it. See yourself at that age and experiment with letting different senses reconnect to that happy time,Most vegetables are important sources of minerals.
What was going on at that moment?
What were you feeling inside?
How did your body feel?
Were there any aromas?
How did things look around you?
How were you acting?
What was the weather like?
What was the scenery like?
Were you with anyone?
What was it like to be with that person?
Take time to really enjoy this happy memory. Now scan your memory bank and the most recent past to see if you can think of one thing that you enjoyed doing in the last week. Give yourself permission to relive through your memory that pleasant time. Again, use all of your senses to reconnect you with that wonderful experience.
Monday, November 26, 2012
surround yourself with people
There Is No Excuse For Being Unhappy by Ineke Van Lint,5825 Ugg Classic Short Chestnut Boots
Many people are living a life of sadness, despair, fear and anger, as if they were living in a basement with a very low ceiling. A cold, damp ceiling of dense concrete, keeping them down. There are no windows in this place, no sunshine coming in, no birds singing, no nightingales, no voices of children playing, no affection, no tenderness. Instead there are tons of misery, illness, sadness, anger, depression, fatigue, anxiety, doubt and low self-esteem.
How can you leave these gloomy quarters? How do you go back to the gentle sunlight? All you need to do is take a few steps up the staircase, and there you are: on the first floor, where there's lots of light, love, abundance, joy, well-being and plenty of sunshine even if it's raining outside. All of this is just one floor away! One floor up, in fact.
Why is it so hard to leave the basement, to wake up from this nightmare, and to reach that place where you long to be, when it is just a few steps away? Because "they" have told you that this murky basement you're living in is all there is, and you have taken their word for it. Who are "they" ? They are your parents, your teachers, people around you, TV shows you watch, newspapers you read, and so on.
You think this sad life in the basement is reality, and that love and excitement is the stuff that dreams are made of. My dear, you are living an illusion! You are living a huge misunderstanding, for it is exactly the other way around. It is the darkness that is the dream (a nightmare in fact), and Love and Light that is real.
Unfortunately, "they" never told you that real life is happening just a few steps up. They never told you that you are living in a nightmare. Why didn't they tell you? Are they that sadistic? Didn't they want you to be happy and healthy and abundant? Oh yes, they did! So why didn't they tell you? Because they simply don't know themselves! They too believe, and have believed for their whole life, that the lies they are living are the truth, that the nightmare is real. And so they couldn't have told you anything else than the lies they themselves take for truth.
This handover of misunderstandings and lies has been going on for a very long time, generation after generation. Do you really want to stay under that ceiling, cramped and swamped in darkness and misery? Do you want your children to fall for these lies, "living" a "life" of discontent, heaviness and chronic disease? Or do you want to live one step beyond, a few steps up, being showered with love and feeling the sunshine on your face?
How do you get there? It's right there!
You will have to stretch yourself a little bit to get there. You will have to take a serious look at your belief system and carefully examine the core beliefs that all of your thoughts are built upon. Then you will need to decide whether you will continue believing the lies they told you, or whether you will abandon those limiting ideas, make up your own mind, and take a shot at living in joy and excitement.
Stretch yourself, step out of your comfort zone. You will have to quit some bad habits and leave behind some of the people you used to hang out with. You can no longer dwell in negative energy vibrations once you have made up your mind that you want to live on a positive vibe.
How can you go one floor up and step back into the light? There are several things you can do! Take a walk in nature,why not, listen to some uplifting music, read an inspiring book, attend workshops to develop your talents, discover your inner truth and your true nature in moments of silence, take your dreams serious and do whatever you can to realize them. Nurture your passions: sing, dance, paint, draw, make love with your loved one, connect with your guardian angel, look into the eyes of a child, play with your pets,she suggests silliness. I am so pleased. I've been a personal fan of silliness my whole life, make friends with the Universe, have a conversation with God (and with the neighbors), follow your own path, lift your vibration with therapies like Bach Flower Therapy, and so on. In a nutshell : surround yourself with people, objects and activities that have a high energy vibration and that makes your energy flow in your body. There is so much to enjoy!
There is so much you can do to uplift your energy vibration, that there is absolutely no excuse to stay underground. Unless you consciously choose to be loyal to those who tell you there is no fun in life, that this misery is just the way life is, that you have to accept it, and that the basement is the only room in the house. You have a choice to make: or you make it your priority to uplift your energy, or you stay where you are. It's totally up to you,showing up in the way people interact with one another and handle different situations.! You have the freedom to choose. Since everybody can go upstairs, since access is denied to nobody, there really is no excuse not to go there
You should do every day things that make you feel happy. It won't happen by itself. Make a list of what makes you feel smiling and what uplifts your energy, and start doing at least some of these things every day! You can, nobody withholds you!
Consider this: the effort needed to go up that staircase is no bigger than the effort needed to stay under that low ceiling, carrying a heavy load on your shoulders. The effort is the same but the results are vastly different! Staying where you are is wallowing in misery and pain. Going upstairs is telling the world you really believe you and everybody else deserve a life filled with light and enthusiasm! Your life is waiting for you! Go up there and get it! Don't wait for it to happen by itself. Stand up, move your body, take action and do what makes you feel better!
Why not go up? The difference is enthusiasm!
Many people are living a life of sadness, despair, fear and anger, as if they were living in a basement with a very low ceiling. A cold, damp ceiling of dense concrete, keeping them down. There are no windows in this place, no sunshine coming in, no birds singing, no nightingales, no voices of children playing, no affection, no tenderness. Instead there are tons of misery, illness, sadness, anger, depression, fatigue, anxiety, doubt and low self-esteem.
How can you leave these gloomy quarters? How do you go back to the gentle sunlight? All you need to do is take a few steps up the staircase, and there you are: on the first floor, where there's lots of light, love, abundance, joy, well-being and plenty of sunshine even if it's raining outside. All of this is just one floor away! One floor up, in fact.
Why is it so hard to leave the basement, to wake up from this nightmare, and to reach that place where you long to be, when it is just a few steps away? Because "they" have told you that this murky basement you're living in is all there is, and you have taken their word for it. Who are "they" ? They are your parents, your teachers, people around you, TV shows you watch, newspapers you read, and so on.
You think this sad life in the basement is reality, and that love and excitement is the stuff that dreams are made of. My dear, you are living an illusion! You are living a huge misunderstanding, for it is exactly the other way around. It is the darkness that is the dream (a nightmare in fact), and Love and Light that is real.
Unfortunately, "they" never told you that real life is happening just a few steps up. They never told you that you are living in a nightmare. Why didn't they tell you? Are they that sadistic? Didn't they want you to be happy and healthy and abundant? Oh yes, they did! So why didn't they tell you? Because they simply don't know themselves! They too believe, and have believed for their whole life, that the lies they are living are the truth, that the nightmare is real. And so they couldn't have told you anything else than the lies they themselves take for truth.
This handover of misunderstandings and lies has been going on for a very long time, generation after generation. Do you really want to stay under that ceiling, cramped and swamped in darkness and misery? Do you want your children to fall for these lies, "living" a "life" of discontent, heaviness and chronic disease? Or do you want to live one step beyond, a few steps up, being showered with love and feeling the sunshine on your face?
How do you get there? It's right there!
You will have to stretch yourself a little bit to get there. You will have to take a serious look at your belief system and carefully examine the core beliefs that all of your thoughts are built upon. Then you will need to decide whether you will continue believing the lies they told you, or whether you will abandon those limiting ideas, make up your own mind, and take a shot at living in joy and excitement.
Stretch yourself, step out of your comfort zone. You will have to quit some bad habits and leave behind some of the people you used to hang out with. You can no longer dwell in negative energy vibrations once you have made up your mind that you want to live on a positive vibe.
How can you go one floor up and step back into the light? There are several things you can do! Take a walk in nature,why not, listen to some uplifting music, read an inspiring book, attend workshops to develop your talents, discover your inner truth and your true nature in moments of silence, take your dreams serious and do whatever you can to realize them. Nurture your passions: sing, dance, paint, draw, make love with your loved one, connect with your guardian angel, look into the eyes of a child, play with your pets,she suggests silliness. I am so pleased. I've been a personal fan of silliness my whole life, make friends with the Universe, have a conversation with God (and with the neighbors), follow your own path, lift your vibration with therapies like Bach Flower Therapy, and so on. In a nutshell : surround yourself with people, objects and activities that have a high energy vibration and that makes your energy flow in your body. There is so much to enjoy!
There is so much you can do to uplift your energy vibration, that there is absolutely no excuse to stay underground. Unless you consciously choose to be loyal to those who tell you there is no fun in life, that this misery is just the way life is, that you have to accept it, and that the basement is the only room in the house. You have a choice to make: or you make it your priority to uplift your energy, or you stay where you are. It's totally up to you,showing up in the way people interact with one another and handle different situations.! You have the freedom to choose. Since everybody can go upstairs, since access is denied to nobody, there really is no excuse not to go there
You should do every day things that make you feel happy. It won't happen by itself. Make a list of what makes you feel smiling and what uplifts your energy, and start doing at least some of these things every day! You can, nobody withholds you!
Consider this: the effort needed to go up that staircase is no bigger than the effort needed to stay under that low ceiling, carrying a heavy load on your shoulders. The effort is the same but the results are vastly different! Staying where you are is wallowing in misery and pain. Going upstairs is telling the world you really believe you and everybody else deserve a life filled with light and enthusiasm! Your life is waiting for you! Go up there and get it! Don't wait for it to happen by itself. Stand up, move your body, take action and do what makes you feel better!
Why not go up? The difference is enthusiasm!
Friday, November 23, 2012
New Warrior Adventure Weekends
Therapy for Grief by Michael Logan,If you need to relieve stress
The best therapy for grief is time and community. We humans have been dealing with death since we began, and every culture, every clan, every family, has created some kind of ritual.
For example some cultures still throw spears over the body to ward off spirits.
In our culture, homes from a more rural time were built with a "death room" included, and when a village member died, the village participated in the ritual, the wake, and the funeral, and the bereaved wore black to symbolize their grief, which meant in part that they were going to withdraw from the normal village transactions for awhile.
I think it is interesting to read of the evolving funeral industry from its ancient roots, and also the evolving interest of my profession in grief and the grieving process.
By the way, grief does not always deal with just human death. We grieve pets, possessions,In this job you are the boss, marriages, ideas, ideals, traditions, anything important to us which is gone suddenly.
I remember from my own youth, very young in the early 1950's, our family car, which was one of the first models available after WWII, burned in the barn on our farm, and how my parents wept.
The car was important for my Dad to get to and from work, and it represented upwardly mobile success for my parents also, and the setback was hard to take.
Fast forward a few decades, to when I began working in the addictions field, and becoming amazed at what intense pain often lay under or within addictions.
So grieving and grief therapy became an informal part of the addiction recovery process.
Men spoke of physical abuse, women spoke of sexual abuse, as a rule of thumb, the point being that many addicts experienced a betrayal of trust at the hands of family members, and had there been grief therapy available, perhaps the pain could have been cleared more effectively.
The purpose of grief I believe is to clear away the wreckage of the old, so that the new can grow, and if we do not process grief effectively, it is very difficult to trust in closeness or relationship.
Grief is like the winter of emotional life, and necessary for the spring and rebirth.
However we humans can get stuck in our grief, and it is then that perhaps a grief therapist is necessary for us to let go and move on.
I have been to many experiential workshops, holotropic breathwork, New Warrior Adventure Weekends, where folks have opened the door to unfinished grief from decades prior, from veterans working on survival guilt, or father's grieving the loss of sons and daughters, children grieving the loss of parents to death, or addiction, and the healing from that grief therapy process can be profound, when the folks involved in the community trust in the sacredness of the work.
In my own anger management and domestic violence programs, I routinely have clients who tap into a deep pain around a loss, and I need to have a model for them to make sense of what is happening.
A great model for that kind of grief therapy is psychodrama,5825 Ugg Classic Short Chestnut Boots, but what we counselor's call "set and setting" is integral to safety and trust, and psychodrama may not be appropriate for an educational class or workshop.
There are other models for dealing with complicated grief,2. We know defeat when our feet refuse to step out of the puddle of discouragement., or disenfranchised grief, for example, which are aspects of grief being delineated in more current research on grief therapy.
The first model of grief that I came across in my professional development was the Elizabeth Kubler-Ross model, with its five stages, denial, bargaining, anger, tears, and acceptance, and it has proven to be very useful in letting folks know there is a rhyme and reason to their experience.
Just knowing that they are not "going crazy" is a relief, and the relationship between anger and sadness is a very important piece of what I teach my anger management and domestic violence classes, so that they can be aware that anger is a great way to get out of a vulnerable feeling state, but anger, like all emotions, demands an action which will of course be different than tears, with its own consequences.
Of course, acceptance is what all of us are striving for, that day when I wake up and think of my loss and do not experience that intense feeling, maybe a bit of nostalgia or melancholy, but then I get on with the business of living a life that respects the memory of the dear departed.
The best therapy for grief is time and community. We humans have been dealing with death since we began, and every culture, every clan, every family, has created some kind of ritual.
For example some cultures still throw spears over the body to ward off spirits.
In our culture, homes from a more rural time were built with a "death room" included, and when a village member died, the village participated in the ritual, the wake, and the funeral, and the bereaved wore black to symbolize their grief, which meant in part that they were going to withdraw from the normal village transactions for awhile.
I think it is interesting to read of the evolving funeral industry from its ancient roots, and also the evolving interest of my profession in grief and the grieving process.
By the way, grief does not always deal with just human death. We grieve pets, possessions,In this job you are the boss, marriages, ideas, ideals, traditions, anything important to us which is gone suddenly.
I remember from my own youth, very young in the early 1950's, our family car, which was one of the first models available after WWII, burned in the barn on our farm, and how my parents wept.
The car was important for my Dad to get to and from work, and it represented upwardly mobile success for my parents also, and the setback was hard to take.
Fast forward a few decades, to when I began working in the addictions field, and becoming amazed at what intense pain often lay under or within addictions.
So grieving and grief therapy became an informal part of the addiction recovery process.
Men spoke of physical abuse, women spoke of sexual abuse, as a rule of thumb, the point being that many addicts experienced a betrayal of trust at the hands of family members, and had there been grief therapy available, perhaps the pain could have been cleared more effectively.
The purpose of grief I believe is to clear away the wreckage of the old, so that the new can grow, and if we do not process grief effectively, it is very difficult to trust in closeness or relationship.
Grief is like the winter of emotional life, and necessary for the spring and rebirth.
However we humans can get stuck in our grief, and it is then that perhaps a grief therapist is necessary for us to let go and move on.
I have been to many experiential workshops, holotropic breathwork, New Warrior Adventure Weekends, where folks have opened the door to unfinished grief from decades prior, from veterans working on survival guilt, or father's grieving the loss of sons and daughters, children grieving the loss of parents to death, or addiction, and the healing from that grief therapy process can be profound, when the folks involved in the community trust in the sacredness of the work.
In my own anger management and domestic violence programs, I routinely have clients who tap into a deep pain around a loss, and I need to have a model for them to make sense of what is happening.
A great model for that kind of grief therapy is psychodrama,5825 Ugg Classic Short Chestnut Boots, but what we counselor's call "set and setting" is integral to safety and trust, and psychodrama may not be appropriate for an educational class or workshop.
There are other models for dealing with complicated grief,2. We know defeat when our feet refuse to step out of the puddle of discouragement., or disenfranchised grief, for example, which are aspects of grief being delineated in more current research on grief therapy.
The first model of grief that I came across in my professional development was the Elizabeth Kubler-Ross model, with its five stages, denial, bargaining, anger, tears, and acceptance, and it has proven to be very useful in letting folks know there is a rhyme and reason to their experience.
Just knowing that they are not "going crazy" is a relief, and the relationship between anger and sadness is a very important piece of what I teach my anger management and domestic violence classes, so that they can be aware that anger is a great way to get out of a vulnerable feeling state, but anger, like all emotions, demands an action which will of course be different than tears, with its own consequences.
Of course, acceptance is what all of us are striving for, that day when I wake up and think of my loss and do not experience that intense feeling, maybe a bit of nostalgia or melancholy, but then I get on with the business of living a life that respects the memory of the dear departed.
Thursday, November 22, 2012
"professional"
The Secrets of “Watchability” for Speakers
"Watchability." Both my spell checker and an online dictionary
tell me that "watchability" is not a real word. However, I will
continue to use it because, in my opinion, the ability to be
watchable may be the single most important trait a speaker can
have.
This summer, I attended the annual convention of the National
Speakers Association. I thought that the kickoff speaker was
amazing. However, if you break down his style in purely technical
terms, he was awful. He kept moving around the stage, he stepped
out of the light and into the audience, he checked his watch
while speaking, etc. Despite all that,It's another way of saying that when we relax, he had watchability.
Something about his delivery and style kept me grossly engaged.
Others must have thought so as well - you don't get to open a
national speakers convention if people think you're no good.
So what is watchability? It is, to be a bit redundant, the
characteristic of being watchable. People enjoy watching and
listening to you speak. The amazing thing is that if you are
watchable, then even if you mess up or if your content or
delivery isn't up to snuff, the audience will enjoy it.
The ultimate goal, of course, is to have great content and
delivery while being amazingly watchable. The challenge is that
while content and delivery are easily viewable traits,
watchability is abstract. It's easy to watch a speaker and
critique how they move, or how they use their facials. You can
listen and critique stutters, inflection, pace, and vocal
variety,on the fridge,5825 Ugg Classic Short Chestnut Boots. The value of their content is easy to immediately judge.
Watchability, however, is like charisma. You can't define a set
criteria, but you know it when you see it.
I have however, observed a few things that all eminently
watchable speakers do:
1) They are themselves. These speakers speak from the heart, and
speak in a style that is true to themselves. They don't use other
people's words, and they don't use unnatural body movements that
a coach taught them. They give you the impression that if the two
of you were hanging out for dinner, they would say the same thing
in the same way.
2) They are comfortable. Watchable speakers look right at home on
stage. This comes from two things: 1) they are experienced and
know the material inside and out, and 2) they are not afraid of
failure. While they want to communicate their message and please
they audience, they are not wrapped up in all that. They are
content to just get on stage and do their best. If the audience
likes it great; if not, it's not the end of the world.
3) They are having fun. You have probably seen a speaker (even a
"professional") who looks like they don't want to be on stage.
Watchable speakers have fun. Even if their topic is serious, they
clearly act as if they want to be on that stage. They view it as
an honor and a privilege. Whether it stems from fear, arrogance,
burn-out, or some mysterious other factor, when a speaker would
rather be somewhere else, an audience can feel it.
Practice implementing these three ideas: be yourself, get
comfortable, and have fun. You can instantly and drastically
increase the value of your speech without changing a single word
if you do this. You will,and greater productivity. This means less absenteeism, in word, become "watchable."
"Watchability." Both my spell checker and an online dictionary
tell me that "watchability" is not a real word. However, I will
continue to use it because, in my opinion, the ability to be
watchable may be the single most important trait a speaker can
have.
This summer, I attended the annual convention of the National
Speakers Association. I thought that the kickoff speaker was
amazing. However, if you break down his style in purely technical
terms, he was awful. He kept moving around the stage, he stepped
out of the light and into the audience, he checked his watch
while speaking, etc. Despite all that,It's another way of saying that when we relax, he had watchability.
Something about his delivery and style kept me grossly engaged.
Others must have thought so as well - you don't get to open a
national speakers convention if people think you're no good.
So what is watchability? It is, to be a bit redundant, the
characteristic of being watchable. People enjoy watching and
listening to you speak. The amazing thing is that if you are
watchable, then even if you mess up or if your content or
delivery isn't up to snuff, the audience will enjoy it.
The ultimate goal, of course, is to have great content and
delivery while being amazingly watchable. The challenge is that
while content and delivery are easily viewable traits,
watchability is abstract. It's easy to watch a speaker and
critique how they move, or how they use their facials. You can
listen and critique stutters, inflection, pace, and vocal
variety,on the fridge,5825 Ugg Classic Short Chestnut Boots. The value of their content is easy to immediately judge.
Watchability, however, is like charisma. You can't define a set
criteria, but you know it when you see it.
I have however, observed a few things that all eminently
watchable speakers do:
1) They are themselves. These speakers speak from the heart, and
speak in a style that is true to themselves. They don't use other
people's words, and they don't use unnatural body movements that
a coach taught them. They give you the impression that if the two
of you were hanging out for dinner, they would say the same thing
in the same way.
2) They are comfortable. Watchable speakers look right at home on
stage. This comes from two things: 1) they are experienced and
know the material inside and out, and 2) they are not afraid of
failure. While they want to communicate their message and please
they audience, they are not wrapped up in all that. They are
content to just get on stage and do their best. If the audience
likes it great; if not, it's not the end of the world.
3) They are having fun. You have probably seen a speaker (even a
"professional") who looks like they don't want to be on stage.
Watchable speakers have fun. Even if their topic is serious, they
clearly act as if they want to be on that stage. They view it as
an honor and a privilege. Whether it stems from fear, arrogance,
burn-out, or some mysterious other factor, when a speaker would
rather be somewhere else, an audience can feel it.
Practice implementing these three ideas: be yourself, get
comfortable, and have fun. You can instantly and drastically
increase the value of your speech without changing a single word
if you do this. You will,and greater productivity. This means less absenteeism, in word, become "watchable."
Thursday, November 15, 2012
reset button
How To Speedily Comprehend Unfamiliar Subjects In Speed Reading! by Joe Okoro
Everyday in our life time, we come across different issues and topics. These topics come across different disciplines and endeavour and atimes need our consideration of them when the need for them arises. In other words, we all come across newspapers, journals, instruction manuals for our electronics or kitchenware. Car manuals, newsletters, magazines and so on.
The manuals we use either for our cars, electric quipment, computer or any other area are written by the authorities in those fields. Hence when they write, they write using words that describes that area of specialisation which may be unfamiliar to people who are not in that area. That is why proper attention should be given to any other area of our life which we do not have a common knowledge of as long as it will benefit us,5825 Ugg Classic Short Chestnut Boots. For the speed reader, their are certain steps to be taken to maximise such situation to bring about a fast read when confronted with such a challenge.
I'm going to show you how you - a speed reader - can conquer such a feat in a short while. Let's use an example, we will be using a manual on cleaning for a popular coffee maker apparatus.
When you have access to such a manual, the normal thing will be your inability to immediately start cleaning it without fully understanding the instructions on safety procedures to adhere to prior to cleaning.
Let's say the manual details the following information on the parts of the apparatus:
Reservoir lid, Thermal glass cover, detachable filter, filter basket, plate, reset button, water reservoir.
After fully going through the above and then reading the cleaning instructions, you will immediately be familiar with the components of the apparatus and be in a better position to clean it according to instructions.
But before you progress to cleaning, it is important that you read the caution usually in the manual of nearly if not all electonic set or equipments.
For instance below is an example of how the Instructions can come:
Caution: Never insert your plug in water as this may cause electrical hazards. Make sure you unplug before cleaning to avoid electricution,and what you need to do to expand your business..
Instructions for cleaning: Avoid the use of hard objects in cleaning the interior of the apparatus, don't use hands in cleaning as this may cause malfunctioning of the apparatus. When cleaning, use a soft but damp material to clean the surface.
Let's check your comprehension level.
Questions?
1. After going through the manual, what is the initial step you need to take before cleaning a coffee maker apparatus,you know it.?
2. Is there any precautionary measures that will help me avoid problems while cleaning?
3. What are the consequencies of not heeding the measures above?
4. What cleaning procedure is given to me to safely clean the surface and interior of the vessel?
What are the answers? Can you tell me?
Answers:
1. Reading the whole manual before any cleaning activity,reading and arithmetic.
2. Yes, there are precautions which are not using a hard object inside the apparatus and unpluging the plug before cleaning.
3. Malfunctioning of apparatus and the danger of electric shock.
4. Use of soft damp material in cleaning inside and outside of the apparatus.
The important thing about learning to read fast with subjects you are not familiar with is to carefully preview, review, scan, and see if you can decipher the information presented therein. If there are terms or statements you do not understand, you may need to consult the thesaurus or dictionary. Practice reading such manuals and overtime, with other similar materials you will discover to your amazement that speed reading similar material eventually becomes a breeze.
Everyday in our life time, we come across different issues and topics. These topics come across different disciplines and endeavour and atimes need our consideration of them when the need for them arises. In other words, we all come across newspapers, journals, instruction manuals for our electronics or kitchenware. Car manuals, newsletters, magazines and so on.
The manuals we use either for our cars, electric quipment, computer or any other area are written by the authorities in those fields. Hence when they write, they write using words that describes that area of specialisation which may be unfamiliar to people who are not in that area. That is why proper attention should be given to any other area of our life which we do not have a common knowledge of as long as it will benefit us,5825 Ugg Classic Short Chestnut Boots. For the speed reader, their are certain steps to be taken to maximise such situation to bring about a fast read when confronted with such a challenge.
I'm going to show you how you - a speed reader - can conquer such a feat in a short while. Let's use an example, we will be using a manual on cleaning for a popular coffee maker apparatus.
When you have access to such a manual, the normal thing will be your inability to immediately start cleaning it without fully understanding the instructions on safety procedures to adhere to prior to cleaning.
Let's say the manual details the following information on the parts of the apparatus:
Reservoir lid, Thermal glass cover, detachable filter, filter basket, plate, reset button, water reservoir.
After fully going through the above and then reading the cleaning instructions, you will immediately be familiar with the components of the apparatus and be in a better position to clean it according to instructions.
But before you progress to cleaning, it is important that you read the caution usually in the manual of nearly if not all electonic set or equipments.
For instance below is an example of how the Instructions can come:
Caution: Never insert your plug in water as this may cause electrical hazards. Make sure you unplug before cleaning to avoid electricution,and what you need to do to expand your business..
Instructions for cleaning: Avoid the use of hard objects in cleaning the interior of the apparatus, don't use hands in cleaning as this may cause malfunctioning of the apparatus. When cleaning, use a soft but damp material to clean the surface.
Let's check your comprehension level.
Questions?
1. After going through the manual, what is the initial step you need to take before cleaning a coffee maker apparatus,you know it.?
2. Is there any precautionary measures that will help me avoid problems while cleaning?
3. What are the consequencies of not heeding the measures above?
4. What cleaning procedure is given to me to safely clean the surface and interior of the vessel?
What are the answers? Can you tell me?
Answers:
1. Reading the whole manual before any cleaning activity,reading and arithmetic.
2. Yes, there are precautions which are not using a hard object inside the apparatus and unpluging the plug before cleaning.
3. Malfunctioning of apparatus and the danger of electric shock.
4. Use of soft damp material in cleaning inside and outside of the apparatus.
The important thing about learning to read fast with subjects you are not familiar with is to carefully preview, review, scan, and see if you can decipher the information presented therein. If there are terms or statements you do not understand, you may need to consult the thesaurus or dictionary. Practice reading such manuals and overtime, with other similar materials you will discover to your amazement that speed reading similar material eventually becomes a breeze.
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